VICTORY parades are incredible, if not surreal, moments for those lucky enough to get to experience them.
Those Newcastle players, Eddie Howe, the entire city, are in for one hell of a day.
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And I can say that from experience, getting promoted to the Premier League with Watford in 2014/15.
And, in our case, it started the week before. It was very true of my captaincy that we were on the p*** the second we got promoted.
In the penultimate game of the season, we won at Brighton in the early kick-off, and on the bus back to the training ground we were all saying: “Come on, one more win and we are up.”
But by the time we got back to the training ground and got off the team bus, all the scores had come in.
A couple of results had to go our way to be promoted and they all happened.
Our old team chef, he wasn’t on the bus with us, I think he lived on site.
He must have seen the results and he just appeared, came flying out with bottles of champagne, the lot.
You’d have thought he was a pirate, the amount of alcohol he pulled out of nowhere.
We got p***ed and went into Watford town centre. It was a complete tear-up — f***ing brilliant.
So, when we played that last game at home to Sheffield Wednesday on the following Saturday, we had probably been drinking for like four days.
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We drew 1-1, conceding a 90th-minute equaliser, which meant we finished second behind Bournemouth, but it didn’t really matter.
The job was done. There was another booze-up that night, and then a family and friends night out on the Sunday where everyone was staying at The Grove hotel in Watford, which the club paid for.
I can’t really remember what happened Sunday, but I know I somehow made it to the meeting point on the Monday at The Grove to get on the parade bus.
Let me tell you a secret… after a few days of partying and drinking, no one wants to be on that bus.
You get on and then the reality hits that you’re about to start moving. It is like being on a rollercoaster p***ed out of your head.
It was like Glastonbury, but on a double-decker bus.
Troy Deeney
You suddenly get very nervous that you will spew up, and also, there were no toilets…
We were on these old-fashioned red London buses, something to do with paying tribute to the Graham Taylor era when they got promoted in 1999. Really retro.
There were two of them. The players were in one at the front and friends and family behind.
As the saying goes, what’s the best way to get over a hangover? Carry on drinking, have a few more to level yourself out.
That didn’t work out as well as we planned. There were a few people spewing at the back of the bus, there were a few peeing in empty bottles.
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It was like Glastonbury, but on a double-decker bus.
And then we got to the stage to lift the trophy. I was absolutely p***ed so I don’t remember most of it. Apparently it was a good day.
After that, I went on a lads trip to Las Vegas. Five days. We had a good time.
I flew first class for the first time ever. We did our wallets over, but we did it properly, you know?
I then flew straight from there to Disneyland Florida for two weeks with the family.
But, in all seriousness, to see the reception we got, around 20,000 fans coming out to celebrate with us, it was some day.
And that was all for ‘little’ Watford.
Just think what it will be like for Newcastle. The streets are going to be heaving for miles and miles. A massive event.
You get on and then the reality hits that you’re about to start moving. It is like being on a rollercoaster p***ed out of your head. You suddenly get very nervous that you will spew up, and also, there were no toilets…
Troy Deeney
I really hope for the likes of Dan Burn — winning the Carabao Cup and getting his first England call-up — that Eddie pulls him to one side and says: “Listen mate, you’ve had a monumental week. Enjoy it, have too many sherbets. Sweat it out on the Monday. We will look after you.”
I remember Jack Grealish getting lambasted for his drinking antics and celebrations on the bus when Manchester City won the Treble.
He has that iconic picture with his arms stretched out and his shirt off.
Maybe it is because I have a soft spot for him because he is from Birmingham, but it is one of the coolest pictures out there.
That is how parades like that should be done. They don’t come around too often, especially the unexpected ones like Watford, or with Newcastle right now.
And if Newcastle end up getting Champions League football come the end of the season . . . I know the Saudis don’t drink, but they could throw another big party.
